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1. A smooth-textured sausage of minced beef or pork usually smoked; often served on a bread roll
2. A person, especially a man, who is regarded as being weak and ineffectual.
"The best sales pitches, the ones with a solid punch to them, are in fact just wonderful lies that people want to believe. See -- and I don't like to brag like my goblin friend here -- but I like to think that I am a great storyteller. Like, you may think that on account of appearances 'n all that I am actually a terrible one, or perhaps you'd like to assume that my imposing appendage is a reflection of all the lies that have ever flown past my own lips. Regardless of what you assume, you'd be wrong anyway... but I could easily make you believe otherwise. The thing that makes me such a fantastic salesman has nothing to do with my words per say, but what I can assume my clients want. Or, ironically, how I can pull out a lil' of their own truth from them.
Normally I don't like to be too pushy at first, so I pitch the product in a way I know will get the customer ticking. Suggest something glamorous at first, though nothing too cornball. A new look maybe, if they need it. Or a "love potion," though all it really does is make people's pheromones outta whack. I don't particularly care to recommend it, but what sells sells! Of course, I can also push hard... I'll ask 'em if they just want to be rejected by the cute guy in town if I need to. A little cheeky phrasing can go a long way like that. Still, it's not always romance that they're after. Sometimes it's just a dire need for a good luck charm, a quick cure, or some way to break a curse. Financial trouble is just as prevalent and hellish in Elsewhere as it is in the States, maybe even more so, and there's a severe lack of cheap healthcare if you don't have ties to The Courts. You don't even wanna know what kinds of curses are out there. I mean, Beauty and The Beast ain't go nothin' on what I've seen...
Like, man, I ain't a miracle worker, but at the very least I can sell these people a little bit of hope, even if it's a bit false, ya know? It's not like ol' Blue is that heartless. I think she's doing a good thing! I mean, I still need to be aggressive with those I know can pay handsomely, but Morgana always tries to look out for the lil' guys. I mean, if I didn't care that much about people and their needs I don't think I'd even be over halfway done with this debt I owe her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that a couple of lies can lead to a great thing, yeah? At least that's what I think..."
-Name-
Mario C Gano
-Alias-
Mar, Moron, and various more.
-Species/Ethnicity-
Stock, subtype Fetch. Puppet. Human. French-Irish-Italian American. Pretty much A White Guy.
-Nationality-
American
-Age-
26, 24 due to technicalities
-DoB-
June 24th
-Height-
3'8" 6'1"
-Build-
Tall. A lil' lanky, if mostly in his limbs. Not necessarily skinny but doesn't appear to have much muscle as first glance while clothed. Swimmer-body lite.
-Hair Color-
A reddish chestnut that can look either dark ginger or blond depending on lighting.
-Skin Tone-
Beige with a reddish undertone that's more prominent when he has a tan. His nose is a ruddier color than the rest of his body. As a puppet his wood looks to be either some sort of birch or maple.
-Eye Color-
An almost golden light amber.
-Sexual/Romantic Orientation-
Pansexual. Romantically leans towards women.
-Occupation-
Sales and deliveryboyman of illicit magical wares.
-Bio-
Mario's history could be best described as either complex or convoluted, depending on who you ask. Though technically the genetic son of a human architect and a changeling florist, Mario is actually a fetch; A type of supernatural clone made from stock materials, such as wood or stone, given a human form with the help of a type of magic called glamour. While most fetches are simple replicas of people that have been snatched away by fae and left in their place, Mario was born under much different circumstances. On the day of his mother's unexpected funeral, an odd turquoise-haired woman came to his father, Gregory, to not only offer her condolences to him, but to seek the repayment of a debt that his wife, Marion, had left behind. Greg was confused; Marion had never told him about this former friend of hers before, and he didn't know of this debt either. After returning home from a night of drinks on the town, the woman informed him that his wife was in fact a changling; A person stolen and changed by fae, generally for servitude. Finding the whole story to be both crazy and disrespectful to Marion, Greg frustratedly demanded her to prove it.
Being coy, the woman Morgana took a small wooden puppet that had been one of Marion's souvenirs and granted it life...
The rest of that story is easy to fill in from there: Mario, once a puppet, lived out his adolescence in middle-class coastal suburbia as a pretty normal if funny-looking boy, with a few quirks here and there. Still, his life came with a price. On behalf of Mario, Gregory made a deal with Morgana: On his sixteenth year of life, he would work for her for the next eight years, plus an additional three for the debt that his mother owed her. If he refused, she would take away the permanent glamour that made him human. The deal seemed so simple... and yet Mario managed to lose his humanity so easily with that big mouth of his. Though he was only a boy fresh out of high school, Morgana had no patience to deal with such rudeness. Thankfully for her, it didn't take him long (about two weeks of existential angst and groveling) for him to beg for her to reinstate the deal. She wouldn't forgive him so quickly though; Under the new deal, he would only permanently become human after the entire debt was paid. Until then, she would occasionally pay him in glamour that would only lasts for a few hours at a time.
And so, Mario has worked for Morgana for the past eight years. Though not much in his life has changed over time, he's a much wiser, if unhinged, guy than he was before. Even though he likes Elsewhere, it's people, and his job, he can't say that he doesn't want to the next three years to go as slow as possible.
-Personality-
Wisecracking and laid-back, Mario can be a charming-if-clownish guy. His tendency to gab and stutter about anything and everything gives him an air of foolishness. However, he is more likely to act the fool than to be it. His abilities to talk-up anything make him not only a decent salesman, but someone who can give a fantastic pep talk when needed. He isn't shy about leading an ear to those he likes either. His friends no doubt appreciate this, his loyalty, and his way of perking them up any time. Despite a cheery and outgoing facade however lies a very doubtful and worried man. Though he likes to joke about himself, Mario is truly insecure about his being, whether it be because of his looks, his humanity, or his future. Though he isn't quick to anger, maliciously pointing out his insecurities will definitely land you a blow to the nose. In summation: Though likable, Mario likes almost anything more than himself.
-Appearance-
Despite standing a little over six feet tall and having a light swimmer's body, the most noticeable thing about Mario is not his height but his nose, which is unfortunately long and quite comparable to a sausage or, in Toad's opinion, a carrot. Though he thinks it ruins his image overall, Mario still possesses pretty near-golden eyes, which is the only other thing sans his nose that denotes his otherworldly nature even while under glamour. Mario is also a rather hairy guy; Not only only does he have big eyebrows, but he prefers to keep his thick chestnut locks at a decent length, and he doesn't care too much for shaving his chest either. He also doesn't like to get rid of the goatee, if only because he thinks his cleft chin makes his nose stand out even more than usual.
While in his puppet form, Mario is barely over 3'8,” and though obviously not human, Mario very much looks like a child version of himself. The only thing making it obvious that he isn't a kid is his reedy voice and goatee, which still hides his cleft chin, though now transformed into a knot in the wood of his jaw. Though he has a proportionally large head, hands, and feet, he is able to walk and move as easily as in his flesh-and-blood body.
Fashion-wise, Mario fancies casual and broish clothing; He likes sherpa jackets, plaid flannels, trucker hats, slip on shoes, “slippers," and T-Shirts with dumb slogans on them (if only ironically, he swears). Even though he grew up in mild weather, Mario prefers to wear shorts only while human. As a puppet he wears jeans almost exclusively.
-Abilities-
Thanks to inheriting his mother's altered changeling genetics, Mario has a supreme green thumb; He can rejuvenate dying and dead plants and cause them to grow rapidly within seconds through touch or song. He can also hear plants "hum," which allows him to gauge their health. He uses these powers mostly for hobbyist reasons, but he keeps a wooden baseball bat in his van handy for whenever he needs to make something like a quick ten-foot battering ram on the fly.
While a puppet, Mario retains the same basic strength and endurance that he has as a human. He can also assimilate new replacement body parts when the need comes, thought they must be made mostly from wood. He cannot replace his head however, as it contains his soul. Oddly, this fact also means that he can live and speak even with his head entirely removed from his body.
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